One door shuts, another one opens, but standing in the corridor is a b*tch
Today I want to talk about this expression - "When one door shuts another one opens"
When I was leaving a big job and didn’t know what I was going to do next, my friend Tobi wrote in my leaving card, ‘Remember, when one door shuts, another opens but standing in the corridor is a b*tch’.
And I loved that.
Because saying things like, ‘don’t worry, you’ll get snapped up’ or ‘there’s plenty more fish in the sea’ whilst they are absolutely true, they gloss over the ghastliness of the in-between bit.
That in-between bit - the standing in the corridor between one door shutting and not knowing where or when the next door will open - is horrible. It’s worrisome, lonely, stressful and it can last a long time.
There may be ‘plenty more fish in the sea’ but when you’ve just been knocked over by a tidal wave of emotion because a relationship has ended, you are in no state to go fishing again.
So I really appreciated that comment ‘standing in the corridor is a b*itch’ because it acknowledged that part of the journey.
So what to do if you are standing in that corridor and not knowing when or where the next door is over?
Well, first I think acknowledge that it’s blooming rubbish and take the time to process your emotions.
Name them: I am angry, I am dejected, I am despairing, I am terrified.
I know from coaching that processing and acknowledging how you are feeling and what is going on is enormously helpful. Simply glossing over it or trying to squish it down doesn’t help. I think it’s a matter of self-respect and self-care - that you respect and care enough about yourself to acknowledge what you are feeling.
I also know that having that acknowledgment often means there is forward movement. You can move on. You’ve heard yourself. You accept that you are in this situation (for now) and it sucks.
And then what? Well, you move forward. One step at a time.
We are naturally creative, resourceful, adaptable beings. We are born problem-solvers. We find ways.
Think about what you need in this corridor bit? Is it some support and understanding, is it putting something into action, is it being busy doing something useful?
Think about what success would look like standing in the corridor. If you fast-forward to beyond when that next door opens and look back, what would have been a successful standing in the corridor look like?
What if we changed the saying from ‘one door shuts, another opens, AND standing in the corridor is an OPPORTUNITY’.
How about that?
Tracy
