Learn to Take a Compliment aka Water Your Flowers

How good are you at taking a compliment?

Terrible?

Do you bat it off, push it away, deny the truth of whatever is being said or go to great lengths to explain exactly why you are actually undeserving?

I think it’s partly a cultural issue - here in the UK you find lots of people programmed to be modest and understated about their talents.

And actually, my mum is Chinese and grew up thinking that complimenting people was back luck, it would bring the evil eye. So if you see a cute baby, you say ‘aren’t you an ugly monkey’.

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Anyway, I think people equate accepting a compliment as being self-congratulatory and not many people want to be perceived as a show-off or big-headed.

But there is a difference between being a show-off and being proud and acknowledging your achievements.

It’s something that comes up a lot in coaching - people want and need to be able to sell themselves but don’t want to feel like they are showing off.

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So when I noticed this post on @girlboss on my Instagram feed it really resonated:

“Someone congratulated me recently and I started to deflect after I said thank you.

They said “I’m gonna give you your flowers, you can water them or not” and it stuck with me. We often don’t appreciate our current wins because we are anticipating what’s next.

Water your flowers.”

Two things:
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1) When you accept a compliment, don’t deflect. Just say, ‘Thank you, I really appreciate that’. If someone’s gone to the lengths to compliment you, don’t throw it back in their face, it’s rude. It’s like pouring bleach on a bunch of flowers someone’s given you.

2) Secondly, digest that compliment, think about it, reflect on it, learn from it and water it! I someone else thinks that about you then take it. And next time you are wanting to sell yourself without feeling like you are boasting, you can say ‘I'm told that I’m xxx’, or I’m described as xxx’ whatever the compliment was.
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Okay, have fun, water those flowers! Put the bleach away…

As I always say Being Fearlessly You!

See you next week.

Tracy