Regrets, I’ve Had a Few…
Is anyone else watching The Offer on Paramount Plus?
It’s the story behind the making of The Godfather. It’s so good.
One of the people portrayed in the series is Frank Sinatra who apparently was very against the making of the Godfather movie because he thought it portrayed Italian-Americans in a very bad way AND it featured a character called Johnny Fontaine that everyone thought was based on the real-life Sinatra. It wasn’t a flattering portrait! (nb. The makers never said it was based on Sinatra…)
Anyway, I’ve been humming Sinatra’s song ‘My Way’ ever since watching it. Especially that line,
‘Regrets, I’ve had a few, but then again, too few to mention.’ And it got me thinking about regrets.
Regrets are something we all have.
Let’s face it, it’s hard to go through life always making the right decisions, never putting a foot wrong, always doing the right thing and making the right choices.
Regrets can be wistful about what could have happened.
Regrets can be painful about what should have happened.
Regrets can be a thorn in your side if they involve choices that didn’t end well.
Regrets about what you did / did not do can lead you to beat yourself up about it. Especially if you are a self-critical over-achiever.
They can linger in your mind for a very long time.
I have regrets about two incidents from the past and how I behaved that are seared into my mind and always come back to haunt me. I think they remain as a stark reminder of exactly who I don’t want to be and for some reason I went against that. And lived to regret it!
I think the reason they haunt me is that I am ashamed of that behaviour. And I think this goes down to personal values. I want to be supportive, empowering, enlightening and on those two occasions I was the opposite.
If you have regrets that haunt you, then try this:
What is the source of discomfort with your regret? Is it making a mistake because you didn’t know any better? Is it deciding something that didn’t end up in your favour? Is it that you did something that let yourself down according to your values?
Is there anything you can do to alter the outcome / make it better?
Who is the person you want to be? What values are important to you and which ones do you want to live by?
What’s stopping you being that person? And what can you do to overcome that?
Remember, ‘to err is human, to forgive divine’. It can be hard to forgive ourselves when we are so busy trying to be perfect.
And I also think mistakes are personal development in disguise. Like putting your finger in the fire, you don’t know it’s going to hurt you until you do it. You might regret it later but you had to learn.
Okay, pause, process and then proceed. Onwards and upwards!
As I always say Being Fearlessly You!
Tracy
