When the Chips are Down, Be Around
I woke up this morning with a Frankie Goes to Hollywood song in my head:
‘When the chips are down, I’ll be around, with my undying death-defying love for you’
It’s about sticking around when the chips are down.
Not when things are shiny or successful or impressive. But when they’re… a bit rubbish, because that’s the moment that actually counts.
Anyone can be present when life is going well. It takes something else to stay when someone’s confidence has taken a knock, when work has dried up, when they’re doubting themselves, or when things haven’t gone to plan.
There’s a line from David Augsberger I come back to often:
Being heard is so close to being loved that, for most people, they are indistinguishable.
I think that’s true....
Not being fixed.
Not being advised.
Not being told “everything happens for a reason”.
Just being properly heard.
And there’s something quietly powerful about being with someone who gets it. Who’s been through a version of what you’re going through. Who doesn’t panic at your wobble.
Which is where the phrase “misery loves company” gets a bad rap.
It’s not about wallowing together, it’s about not feeling alone in the hard bit. It’s about someone saying, without drama or judgement: “Yes. This part is hard. I recognise it. You’re not broken.”
That kind of presence does something important.
It steadies people.
It helps them remember who they are.
It makes the next step possible.
So a small, practical reminder for work and life:
If someone’s struggling, don’t rush them to optimism
If you don’t know what to say, listening is usually enough
If you’ve been through something similar, your understanding is a gift
And if things aren’t great for you right now, seek people who can sit with that honestly
Being there when things aren’t great isn’t a weakness, it’s one of the most underrated forms of strength. And it’s often the reason people find their feet again.
Sometimes the most powerful thing you can offer is not advice, but your presence.
Take care
Tracy
