Switch “Yes, But” for “Yes, And”

Do you find either yourself or people around you saying, ‘Yes, but’ a lot?

‘Yes, but we’ve tried that before and it didn’t work out.’  

‘Yes, but we don’t have the money’

‘Yes, but I don’t have the skills’  etc, etc? 

If the answer is YES then I invite you to take a day where you switch all the ‘Yes, but’s' to ‘YES, AND’ 

Do you remember that Jim Carrey movie in which he couldn’t say 'No' for a day and ended up saying 'Yes' to everything? I think maybe it was just called ‘Yes’. 

Okay, well, I’m inviting you to do the same but just using ‘Yes, and…’ instead of any ‘Yes, but' for a day. 

WHY?  Because it can radically alter your mindset, make your conversations with others  much more productive and result in a much more creative way to solve problems.

Here are some examples of how to make the switch

 1. Let's start with you... Limiting Beliefs

We all have limiting beliefs and an inner narrative often telling us that we can’t or shouldn’t or don’t stand a chance.  Whether or not these beliefs are founded in reality or just a way of preventing ourselves from getting out of our comfort zone and taking a risk,

when we get into that ‘yes, but’ thinking, that’s often what it is:  

a limiting belief.  

For example...

‘Yes, I’d love to have a promotion but they don’t think I’m qualified’ might be a typical statement.  

Instead try:

‘Yes, I’d love to have a promotion AND I’m going to have a chat with them to find out if they think I’m qualified.’

See the difference!

2. Let's try it in a conversation with someone else

This might be a conversation between my son and me, who just passed his driving test...

‘Mum, now that I can drive, don’t you think it would be good if I had my own car?

 So I could either say....

“Yes, but we don’t have any available cash for that, plus the insurance is bonkers for young drivers, so no, it’s not a good idea’

OR

‘Yes, it would be great if you had your own car AND isn’t that a good incentive for you to work hard and earn enough money to pay for it AND the insurance”

Using ‘Yes, and’ builds a conversation with someone else,

 rather than just stopping it dead in its tracks, leaving the other person feeling that they are not listened to and not considered. 

3. In work environments

It works well in work environments where you have to persuade and influence those who don’t report to you, like peers or other departments.

If another team come in with a proposal that doesn’t quite work for you, use ‘yes, and’

‘Yes, that’s such an interesting proposal, and if we did that we would also need to consider XYZ which is important for my team’ 

So, instead of creating the problem and being the barrier, you become a ‘we’ in focusing on the solution.

In short, moving to ‘Yes, and’ thinking moves you from shutting things down to opening them up to collaboration and possibility.  

 It’s a way of building rather than knocking ideas down.  

It keeps the conversation moving forward.  

 So try it for a day, at least, and let me know how it goes!