Not a Good Passenger

Back in December, I went with my husband to pick up our daughter from university for the Christmas holidays. The weather was awful and the motorway was busy. My husband is a confident driver, outside lane, can over-take lorries in sleet etc.

If I’m not driving, I often feel car sick for starters. I don’t like going too fast or too near. Plus I’m hyper-alert for any dangers. Which means I’m very vocal with the shrieks and the imaginary slamming of the brakes.

When we got back from the round trip, I was feeling a bit sick and frazzled, and my husband said sympathetically, ‘You’re not a good passenger’. And I agreed. And then - boom!

It suddenly became a metaphor that translated to other aspects of my life. Am I a good passenger elsewhere or am I happier being in the driving seat? What about being a backseat driver always telling others what to do? Am I ever like that?

It made me reflect that in my career, most of the time I like to be in the driving seat. I like having my own company, my own agenda, and managing my own diary as I see fit.

I have been a passenger many times, navigating and making decisions on behalf of everyone in the car, metaphorically speaking but it definitely takes more energy from me than if I were in the driving seat, audiobook on, free to stop wherever I want.

What does this mean? Well, I think it shows up certain values like independence, freedom, and autonomy, which definitely show up outside of the literal car in my life.
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So, what does this have to do with you? Well, I think it’s an interesting thing for you to ponder:

  • Are you happiest in the driving seat?

  • Are you a good / bad passenger?

  • Does it change and depend on the situation?

  • Are there any constants that thread through your life?​

  • Are you forever looking in the rear-view mirror?

How can you use this metaphor to ponder your own values? And what is the insight you glean?

Please do share what you find, I would love to know!

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Tracy

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