Are you a Self- Critical Over-Achiever?
One of the tribes I love coaching and mentoring most are what I call the
Self-Critical Over-Achievers.
Of course, a true Self-Critical Over-Achiever won’t actually self-identify as one because they won’t believe they over-achieve!
How do you know if you are a Self-Critical Over-Achiever?
Here are my criteria:
You are simultaneously excited and terrified by big challenges, thinking, ‘I’m never going to be able to do that’ but when you’ve achieved said 'big challenges' you throw them over your shoulder never to be looked at again. You take it for granted that you did it. You don’t even see it as an achievement.
You compare yourself negatively to others and find yourself wanting. ‘Why aren’t I like X?’ ‘If only I were more Y’ ‘I wish I had Z’s qualities’ whilst being blind to all the things you yourself are amazing at.
You look at what you haven’t done instead of what you have done, what you haven’t achieved instead of what you have, where you still have to get to instead of how far you’ve come.
Despite having experience and expertise in your field you find it very hard to sell yourself without feeling either that you are boasting or fearing you are an imposter.
When things go wrong, you treat yourself in a way you’d never treat a friend: you berate yourself, are mortified by your behaviour and kick yourself.
Am I right?
How do I know these things? Because I was a Self-Critical Over-Achiever!
Now I like to think I’m an over-achiever without the self-criticism. And it’s fantastic! Yup, I am proud to say I’m a happy and balanced achiever.
I love what I do, I know what I want.
I am able whole-heartedly to champion others (including competitors in my field) and celebrate others successes without feeling rubbish about myself.
I understand and am proud of my assets and abilities and able to sell myself fearlessly without feeling like an imposter.
I understand that when things go wrong, I will inevitably go through a process until I feel okay about it all. It’s still painful but it will pass.
I know I’m not perfect and that’s okay.
How did I get there?
Age and experience, certainly.
I took serious note of what energises me and what drains me and have adjusted my life accordingly.
I decided that I wasn’t going to be modest for society’s sake. That I was going to celebrate my assets and not worry so much about the things I'm not.
I spent time getting 100% clarity on what moves and drives me AND what impact I want to have in life.
I decided to act on what I wanted, not wait for permission or approval from others.
Now, when I coach others, I take them on a process to do all of that.
My mission is to empower people with 100% career confidence and to become fearless leaders in their own right.
If you would like to know more, and check out my website what I can offer you, either 1-2-1 coaching or group courses or just free webinars!
To all my Self-Critical Over-Achievers out there:
I see you
I champion you
you are AMAZING
Don’t be so hard on yourselves, ENJOY what you have.
Take care
Tracy
