When Silence is Golden in Leadership
We’ve probably all heard that expression, ‘Silence is Golden’. Probably, when we were little. Probably from a teacher or a parent. Probably when either or both wanted a little peace and quiet.
I found out that the full saying is, ’Speech is silver, silence is golden’. On further research, I found an Aramaic proverb, ‘If a word be worth one shekel, silence is worth two’. Versions have been around since the 11th Century.
So it’s been around a long time, around the globe. And although I only remember it as something used by a teacher to quiet down my classroom, I think there are ways that it’s absolutely golden when it comes to leadership and life.
How?
Firstly, as a listening tool.
Most people are on broadcast mode when they are talking to others, especially leaders, because there is that need to inform, bring up to speed, and task people with actions. Many people in a conversation are waiting for their turn to speak or interrupt others because they are in a hurry to download what they want to say or move on because there is a busy agenda.
Using silence within a conversation allows the other person to talk, explain, and inform YOU without interruption. It allows space for important things to emerge rather than being shut down or not given air.
Listening is a GOLDEN leadership skill - listening to understand rather than just listening to respond.
Secondly, silence is actually a powerful question.
If you are in conversation with someone, maybe about solving a problem or coming up with suggestions, then try using silence and see what happens. Often, it just creates that space for thinking and processing rather than jumping to immediate conclusions. I know many people are uncomfortable with silence but try it.
As a coach, silence is classed as a powerful question and when you use it you can see people thinking and the cogs in their mind turning. We don’t often pause and process and have the luxury of time to work things out. Using silence in a conversation gives us that space in pocket form. It allows insight and the ‘unknown known’ to surface.
Third, silence is a brilliant tool in public speaking or presentations.
I know that sounds counter-intuitive, but I think pausing and allowing silence when you are giving presentations is so powerful.
When you really want to land a point, say it then pause and allow a few seconds of silence. Why? Because it allows people to digest what you’ve said, to process it and mull it over.
We are so busy these days, and there is so much information constantly going into our brains that it becomes overwhelming. If you think about a busy board looking at a heap of board papers and hearing business case after business case, it’s a lot to take in. Pausing and allowing silence gives the board the space to think and formulate any questions.
I also think taking a moment of silence is golden for every leader, just in terms of their own well-being. Pausing, breathing, and sitting in silence with no distractions is essentially a form of meditation! How often do we do it? How often are we away from either the laptop or the phone? Can you sit in silence for 5 mins? If you don’t know, try it!
I’m going to finish with another proverb I found on silence. Apparently, this is from Africa.
It goes, ‘Silence is the best answer to the unwise.’
What do you think of that one?
Tracy
