How To Get a Pay-rise (why having a Chinese Mother helps)

Having a Chinese mother meant that I grew up thinking that money was never something to be awkward about. Of course, not all Chinese mums are the same, but my mum would never buy anything without asking for a discount, she would barter in Marks & Spencer and use her considerable charm, wile and the chutzpah to get the very best deal possible. 

When I was a freelancer going from contract to contract, she’d say, ‘Are they giving you more money?’ and ‘They should pay you more.’  She didn’t really care about the amount; it was more that she wanted me to be paid well and what she thought I deserved.  Which was, of course, more!  Her asking me these questions, spurred me on to force myself to ask for a pay rise every time because there was no way I was going back and telling my mum I wasn’t earning more.  

So, what do you do if you don’t have a Chinese mum?  Here are the things I’ve learned along the way. 

1.          Make yourself indispensable (or a flight risk).

In each and every job, do it well, be proactive, present solutions not problems, show up on time, present a ‘can do’ attitude, be someone who is good to be with and work with.  In other words, make yourself indispensable.  Make them think they don’t want to be without you.  If you are an employee, consider if they would fight to keep you.  The more you are a flight risk, the better your chances of a pay rise.

2.          Know your USPs and be able to articulate them.

List out all the things that make you special to work with.  Your bonus features, as it were.  If you were going to line up with 3 other people who do the same job as you, what would be the added value of working with you?  What is it about what you do that means they should pay you more? Practice articulating this until it trips off your tongue.

3.          Do your market research on rates.  

Find out what other people are getting paid.  Don’t be squeamish about this!  Women, ask what the men are getting paid!  Ask around, use your amazing skills of research (that we use all the time in the TV industry) to find out top rates and parameters.  And always ask for more than you would be happy to settle for. 

4.          Don’t bite the hand that feeds 

Get friendly with the person who holds the budget – the finance director, the production executive, the HR manager.  And not in a cynical way.  Don’t see them as the enemy.  Understand they form a vital part of the team, have a budget to manage and spread around.  Understand their parameters and what they may have to play with. Or not.  

5.          Know your BATNA - it’s not all about the money 

I learned this term recently – your Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement.  In other words, if they can’t give you more money, then what else is important to you that you could negotiate?  The chance to step up and get something extra on your CV or experience in a different genre?  This way you will gain value in another way that could be worth ££ in your next role.

6.          Know your WATNA

This is your Worst Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement.  In other words, your walk away point.  Work out what this is and stick to it.  If you have no other options and you need the money, then you’ll have to take what’s on offer.  But if you don’t and you really can’t stomach it, have courage, stick to your guns and say no.  You never know, they may well budge.  

7.          Be prepared to move

Always make sure you are working on your options to work elsewhere.  In this case two job offers in the bush are often worth one in the proverbial hand.  Having another offer is one of the best ways in securing a pay rise where you are.  In order to do this, you have to keep up your networking.   Hustle, hustle, hustle.  Present yourself as must-have to all you meet! (See my article on Why Modesty is Overrated).

8.          Be direct, be clear, be professional

When it comes to asking for a pay rise, be direct, clear, professional.  Be polite and friendly but above all, use few words, use facts, use reasoning.  Short statements.  What you want, why you want it, why you think you deserve it, what it means to you and what value the company will get in return.  Don’t um and ah, don’t beat about the bush, don’t be ambiguous.

9.          Keep emotion out of it

Don’t get emotional (in the room or on the email, at least) and don’t be swayed by any emotion or guilt-tripping the other party may bring into it, for example, ‘we’d all love a pay rise, wouldn’t we?’.  Other people’s pay rises are not your concern or vice versa.  Don’t be swayed by ‘well, if we did that for you, then we’d have to do it for everyone else’ type statements.  When it comes to pay rises, you are negotiating for yourself, not everyone else. 

10.       Go for it.  

You know this point, don’t you?  Don’t ask, don’t get.  ‘Just do it.’  ‘Feel the fear and do it anyway.’ And my favourite, ‘Faint heart never won fair lady’.  Or a pay rise.  And if it helps, consider me your honorary Chinese mother.  I will be asking you ‘are they paying you more?’  

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